


I Never Loved You

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson (Broadway Cast) Actor RPF, Musicals - Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 06:45:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18204914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The song Requiem gave me this idea since she sang about "when the villain falls" so she thought he was the villain and during the bootleg, she says he pounded on her door saying he was gonna kill her. that's all the explanation you need





	I Never Loved You

There goes Connor again, banging on my door saying "he is gonna kill me". Little does that selfish brat know that while he does that, I'm crying in my room. Hiding in my bed, because someday he will snap. He will do something. I could never tell my parents how scared I am. I know they would do anything for there little project. They don't care about  **me.** I will never be as important as Connor. He may not be there pride and joy, but he has there attention. All I want is for them to see my problems, instead of Connors

* * *

1 Week Later

 

I always knew he would snap. Always thought he would hurt someone. How wrong I was. That dumbass tried to kill himself again. But since he could not give up his position as the main focus he survived. Im glad my brother is alive, but my mom asked what's wrong 3 days ago. Mabie, I was finally gaining ground. But no he had to go seek more attention. Why the hell can't he just give me a damn break. I can't anymore

Zoe procedes downstairs. trying not to cry. Then she spots her parents looking over something. Curious Zoe asks what it is. "Nnothing," Lary says. But it is too late, Zoe demands to see it. The paper was Connors suicide note. Its context disturbing

* * *

I saw that note so I demanded to see it and they hand it over. It's a suicide note

* * *

Why I am dead

I am dead because Zoe 

Why am I dead because of Zoe you ask

Well she is your achievement

You only care about her

Your "Achievement"

Well go to Hell Zoe

No one wants you here

Not even mom and dad

they ignored you on purpose

Well now you can have all the attention

That's all you've ever wanted, Right?

No, I am not right

im wrong

Zoe... im sorry

I took all the attention, you deserved all of it

but to be honest, you are a jerk

While I was in the hospital after I tried to kill myself

all you did was text

Watch videos

Like comment

Snapchat and look at DIY's

what the hell im your brother

It's like you never loved me

it's fine though

I never loved you

* * *

I break down into tears. he got everything wrong. I do love him, but now. But now, I know he feels different. I was dying on the inside, then I turn into Connor. But that begins with me banging on his door yelling that I AM going to kill him. He opens his door and I go off

 

Zoe proceeds to yell at him about all the stuff he put her through. About all the pain. All the sleepless nights. All the fear. But she ended with, " I will always love you"

 

Zoe finally did it. I dragged her through hell and back and she still loves me. But my dumbass self says " I never loved you". Why did I say that? Why am I suck an idiot? All I see is her running away crying, then she slams her door. Im shaking. Im crying. Im a horrible person. 

 

I know im wrong. Im going to apologize tomorrow. I promise

 

Why, Why the hell did he say that. Connor Murphy. I love you as a brother. But if we were cousins I would HATE you. I know what I do next is wrong. But I can't anymore. Connor can have mom and dad to himself

* * *

 

Why I can't be alive

I can't be alive because of Connor

I can't live in the same house as him

But itstime

And yes I  **love** you

Blame **yourself** see if I care

**even though im gone**

I love you

But do you love me?

* * *

She did it. The one thing I could never do. Die, and because of me.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be about Connor finding out Zoe loves him but I ended up killing Zoe lol


End file.
